I have seen similar lists before, but I felt compelled to share my thoughts on some things people say when they find out I'm gay. Most of the comments may seem kind to the person saying them, but they often have subtle attacks toward the vulnerable one sharing sensitive details about his life. Imagine hearing at least one or more of these comments daily. It gets old.
- “Oh, well, that's okay.” It makes it sound like we need your approval to be who we are. We don't.
- “I still love you, but I can't condone the sin.” Do you really need to call us sinners while expressing your love for us?
- “You don't seem gay.” What is gay supposed to look like? We are just as diverse as everyone else.
- “You need to pray more.” Believe me when I tell you that so many gay men and women have spent more time in prayer about this issue than you ever will. Prayer is not a cure because there is nothing that needs to be cured.
- “We all have our crosses to bear.” This means that you think that being gay is and always will be an unpleasant situation we must endure. Please let us get rid of this cross and allow us to be happy about who we are.
- “I'll pray for you.” Thanks for the prayers, but please don't assume that I am less worthy of getting answers to my own prayers just because I am gay.
- “Struggling with same-sex attraction.” I read and hear this one a lot. The only struggles associated with being homosexual come from people who won't or can't understand us.
- “That's cool as long as you don't become one of those flamboyant gays.” No comment.
- “Well, we are all free to choose our own paths in life.” Choosing to be gay is just about as easy as choosing to be 6 foot 6, have dark hair and blue eyes, and be muscular with 8% body fat. Okay, maybe some of that is a choice, but you get the picture.
- “Just as long as you don't flaunt it, I'll be okay.” So, you will be okay as long as I suppress anything that might hint at my sexual orientation. I can pretend to be somebody else if that will make you more comfortable.
